One story to rule them all

In an earlier post, I discussed how IDENTITY, which sits at the center of the Leadership Circle Profile, is the source from which our leadership emerges. It is, among other things, an aggregation of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.

For many of us, one particular story of self plays a dominant role in our personal narrative. For anyone who has attended a leadership workshop where you share your origin story - this is sometimes the familiar story you tell about how you came to be who you are.

The leader in the Profile below had a dominant story about achievement, forward motion, and drive. In his case, that story began early in life when he internalized a few core lessons.

His family struggled financially when he was young, and he learned early that stability is fragile and risk lurks around every corner. Never get surprised, and, above all, never lose - or you might lose everything.

During adolescence, he added to this story a need to always be the best - and that even his best was never good enough. His high Protecting, Ambition, and Perfect scores reflect this early Reactive strategy.

You can imagine the forward movement and success this story animated in his early career. Perhaps you even recognize echoes of his story in yours.

He is, in effect, running two engines (Reactive and Creative) on the same narrative. He shows up as strategic, visionary, and decisive on his most effective days. But on others, the old tendencies toward controlling, critical and driven dominate. His leadership's most and least effective elements hang on the same story of self. 

We can all get trapped in dominant narratives. They give us a level of security and help us navigate complexity. They also tend to push aside other also true aspects of ourselves. Quieter stories that can hold complimentary gifts.

The coaching work with leaders is to help them "thicken" their narratives and tell a richer and more complete story of self. Not to make their dominant narrative wrong (it is likely the source of their greatest gifts) but to hold it as simply incomplete - only one instrument in a possible orchestra of selves.

For this leader, we looked to his past as a sports coach and developer of teammates. A passion for helping others grow and succeed. We also explored a gift from his turbulent childhood - a deep inner world that provided strength and stability during difficult times.

These quieter stories of care, composure, and teamwork complement his well-honed narrative of achievement—more "selves" from which to draw. A "thicker narrative" to better navigate a complex world.

- Do you have a dominant narrative?

- How might this dominant story push aside other stories of self that hold unique value?

- What could be possible, or less effortful, with a "thicker identity"?

Credit and huge appreciation to Steve Athey for pioneering and teaching me this concept.