The wisdom of Poo

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is sit quietly and swing your feet.


Coaches and facilitators often talk about the idea of "holding space." Being present with someone (or a group) without judgment, expectation, or agenda. It's harder than it seems. 

Leaders want to help. They want to solve problems, remove barriers, and release potential. These are all noble intentions - but are they always helpful? 

When I work with leaders to build their RELATING competency, we often look to Caring Connection. My clients will ask me for tips on what to DO to express more care. Some actions can be helpful, but I first invite them to experiment with simply being present and supportive.

Many leaders I work with are brilliant, capable, and often high DISTANCE. Their instinct is to approach RELATING as a task to DO rather than a way to BE.

Very often, the thing a team needs from their leader is presence, quiet support, and a bit of grace - they need them to hold space.

Like many things in life, Winnie the Poo illustrates this beautifully.

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"Today was a Difficult Day," said Pooh.

There was a pause.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet.

"No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do."

"That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.

"What are you doing?" asked Pooh.

"Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.

"But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh."

And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs…he thought that his best friend had never been more right."
-A.A. Milne