What gifts are hidden in your "long black bag"?

The poet Robert Bly uses the image of a "long black bag" to describe the relationship with our shadow.

Imagine we all drag a long black bag behind us where, from an early age, we stuff aspects of ourselves we decide don't have a place, feel too risky, or are unwelcomed by others. We spend the first half of life deciding what parts of ourselves to put into our bag - and much of the second half trying to get them back out.

I struggled in school growing up. The combination of dyslexia and a school system with no resources for "slow" kids led to massive insecurities. I decided early in life that I could never let anyone know I was stupid - and to do that, I could never let anyone get close. Into my bag went vulnerability, connection, and relationship. Better to be lonely than exposed. The birth of my high PROTECTING.

The identity that emerged from these early years was hard-charging, defensive, and constantly needing to prove myself. Ironically, like many children who struggled early in life, there was also a deep sensitivity and compassion for others. However, these gifts remained stuffed away along with anything that might hint at weakness.

The work in my second half of life has been opening this black bag and reexamining the parts of myself I exiled long ago. I see the logic and utility of these early choices, but I am no longer willing to be subject to them. 

As a coach, it was the reclaiming of heart, sensitivity, and love that transformed my work with clients - and opened me to deeper relationships with others.

Much of my coaching with leaders is helping them reclaim their abandoned gifts and bring a more expanded identity into their life and leadership.

What gifts remain unclaimed in your "long black bag"?