You are not your Reactive tendencies.

One of the traps of the Reactive is mistaking our gifts for our Identity. You are not your likability, intellect, or achievements. They are part of you, but they don't define you. You have them - they don't have you.

I am high on Distance. I mean, REALLY, REALLY high. For most of my life, I collapsed my gifts of curiosity, desire to guide others, humility, and thoughtfulness with the reactive strategy of detachment.

I made up a story that my gifts depended on me staying separate, above it all and aloof. My talents could only be fully expressed if I remained Distant. It served me well in many ways, and came at a high cost - as Reactive strategies often do.

My development work is learning to disentangle my gifts from the strategy I hung them on many years ago.

When we operate from the Reactive, our greatest gifts are held hostage to the strategy where they first emerged.

Which gifts do you currently hang on a Reactive strategy?